Leaving your dog alone: preventing separation-related problems

Dogs are social animals, and being left alone is something most of them have to learn. When they do not, the result can be barking, howling, destruction, toilet accidents and, just as often, silent distress that nobody notices. This guide explains what separation-related problems are, how to prevent them, and what to do if your dog already struggles.

What vets mean by “separation-related problems”

Vets increasingly use the term separation-related problem rather than “separation anxiety”, because, as the PDSA, a veterinary charity, explains, not every dog that struggles when alone is anxious. Some are scared or panicked, some frustrated, some bored and some over-excited. The difference matters: a bored dog needs more to do, while a frightened dog needs to learn, slowly, that being alone is safe.

These problems are very common. The RSPCA cites research suggesting that 8 out of 10 dogs find it hard to cope when left alone, and that half of them show no obvious signs. The behaviour typically starts within a few minutes to half an hour of the owner leaving, and sometimes even before.

The signs, obvious and hidden

The best-known signs are:

• barking, howling or whining
• destruction, often near doors and windows
• toilet accidents in a house-trained dog

Less obvious signs, easily missed, include:

• pacing, circling or other repetitive behaviour
• self-injury, such as excessive licking of the paws or chewing the tail
• not eating meals, treats or food toys while you are out
• trembling or panting

Because many dogs settle as soon as their owner returns, the problem often goes unnoticed. Both the RSPCA and the PDSA suggest filming your dog with a camera from time to time, or asking a neighbour whether they have heard anything. The PDSA also notes that destruction does not always mean a dog is unhappy: it may be having fun, and a behaviourist can tell the difference by watching a video.

Why it happens

The PDSA lists several common causes:

• Never learning to be alone as a puppy.
• Over-attachment to one person in the household.
• A bad experience while alone, such as a fright or an injury.
• Lack of security, for example after time in shelters or kennels, or several changes of home.
• Too little to do, leading to chewing and destruction out of boredom.
• Noise phobias, made worse when a frightening noise happens while the dog is alone.

Pain and illness can cause or worsen these problems too, so a sudden change in behaviour is always a reason to see your vet.

Prevention: teach independence early

The best time to start is the day your dog arrives, whether it is a puppy or an adult. Dogs Trust, a UK dog welfare charity, and the PDSA recommend a gradual approach:

1. Make a safe space: a comfortable bed or den, perhaps with an item of your clothing.
2. Teach settling while you are there: reward your dog for lying calmly on its bed, rather than giving attention every time it follows you around.
3. Use baby gates across doorways so your dog can see and hear you while spending short periods apart.
4. Step out for seconds, return calmly and reward calm behaviour, then build up the time very slowly.
5. Leave the house for short periods once your dog copes with longer absences inside, varying the length.
6. Go back a step at any sign of worry, and keep every absence short enough that your dog stays relaxed.

Some habits help every time you leave:

• Exercise first: a walk before you go gives your dog the chance to burn off energy and go to the toilet. The RSPCA suggests coming back about half an hour before you leave, so your dog has time to settle.
• Feed or occupy: a small meal or a long-lasting food toy can help a dog relax, counted in its daily ration.
• Check the food toy is used: if your dog enjoys a food toy when you are home but ignores it when you are out, the RSPCA notes that it may be worried.
• Reduce triggers: closing curtains and leaving a radio on can cut barking at passers-by and outside noises.
• Keep it low-key: leave without a fuss and greet your dog calmly when you come back. A consistent phrase such as “see you later” can become part of the routine.

How long is too long?

Welfare charities give the same advice: a dog should not be left alone for more than about four hours, and a puppy for much less. A dog that already struggles may become anxious within minutes. If your days are longer, plan for a dog walker, a pet sitter, a neighbour, a friend, or a day care service. Our guide to living with a dog in an apartment includes a daily routine that keeps absences short.

What not to do

• Do not punish. Dogs cannot connect your anger with something they did hours earlier. The RSPCA explains that the “guilty look”, head low, ears back and tail tucked, is a sign of fear, not guilt. Punishment makes your dog more anxious the next time you leave, and the problem worse.
• Do not let a dog “cry it out”. The RSPCA warns that dogs left to become highly distressed only learn that being alone is terrifying; stress hormones can take days to fall, and some dogs simply learn to suffer in silence.
• Do not rely on toys alone. The PDSA points out that treats and toys help only some dogs, such as those that are bored or hungry; most truly distressed dogs will not eat or play.

If you come home to a mess, stay calm, let your dog outside and clean up out of sight.

If your dog already has a problem

1. See your vet to rule out pain or illness.
2. Ask for a referral to a qualified or clinical animal behaviourist, who will watch your dog, often using video, and work out the cause.
3. Follow a gradual plan. Treatment usually involves teaching your dog to cope with very short absences and to associate being alone with something pleasant, a technique called desensitisation and counterconditioning, together with changes at home and a predictable routine.
4. Ask about medication. The PDSA notes that medication is often needed alongside behavioural therapy and can usually be stopped once the dog has learnt to cope.
5. Avoid long absences meanwhile: arrange company for your dog while you work on the problem, so it is not repeatedly pushed beyond what it can cope with.

Improvement takes time, effort and patience, but most dogs do get better with the right help.

Your checklist

• My dog has a safe, comfortable place to rest.
• I practise short absences regularly, even when I do not need to go out.
• I have filmed my dog alone at least once.
• My dog is never alone for more than about four hours, and much less as a puppy.
• I have someone to call on for longer days.
• I know I should see my vet if my dog shows signs of distress.

If you are bringing home a puppy, our guide to your puppy’s first 30 days shows how to fit alone-time training into the first weeks. Some breeds, such as the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, are described as thriving on company; read each breed profile before you choose.